Like I'm Gonna Lose You
by sandybeliever
Summary: Something that came to me while listening to a song


Yes, it's a love song, but if you take out a few lines…it works. I heard this and thought of our guys.

 _I found myself dreaming_

 _In silver and gold_

 _Like a scene from a movie_

 _That every broken heart knows_

"Starsky? Where are you? Starsky!?" Hutch looked around frantically. Nothing looked right even though he was in his apartment. Alone.

Suddenly he was outside. A park in the city he and Starsky would go running and sometimes take dates. He spotted Starsky across the grass walking away. He was glowing. Hutch ran to his side.

 _We were walking on moonlight_

 _Split second and you disappeared_

When he reached for Starsky's arm, he dissolved into strands of gold that slipped through Hutch's fingers.

"Starsk…" Hutch whispered.

 _And then I was all alone_

"Hey, Hutch, wake up, Buddy. Wake up."

Hutch lifted his head from the mattress and felt the wetness on his cheeks. He looked up and saw Starsky looking down at him with a concerned smile.

 _I woke up in tears_

 _With you by my side_

"You fell asleep. You okay?" Starsky asked quietly.

Hutch sat up and wiped away the tears with the heels of his hands. "I'm sorry." Hutch looked around. Starsky was safe. Still in the hospital recovering from what Gunther did to him but safe.

 _A breath of relief_

 _And I realized_

 _No, we're not promised tomorrow_

"Don't apologize. You should go home and get some real sleep," Starsky said, smiling again.

Hutch stood up. "No, I'm okay. Just needed to rest my eyes."

"You sure?"

Hutch cleared his throat. "Yeah. I'm not going anywhere, Starsk." He turned to see Starsky turning and putting his feet on the floor. He came to his side. "Where you going?"

"To the bathroom," Starsky said with a hint of color tinging his cheeks. He stood up slowly as Hutch hovered close. "Remember? The doc gave me the okay to pee standing up like a real man."

Hutch chuckled. "Oh yeah." He followed close as Starsky shuffled to the door of the bathroom across the room.

"No more tubes or jugs for this guy," Starsky said a little too loudly not realizing Hutch was so close behind him. He leaned back a bit. "Uh, Hutch."

"Yeah?"

"Can I have a little personal space here, Buddy?"

"Oh," Hutch chuckled again quietly. "Sorry." But he didn't move away.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Starsky asked.

"Me? Yeah. I just…"

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye_

"Go sit down. We'll talk as soon as I take care of this," Starsky said with a squint of discomfort in his eyes. "Gotta go, Hutch."

Hutch finally took a step back. "Ha, sorry, go ahead."

Starsky shook his head at his friend and went into the bathroom. When he was done, he expected to see Hutch back over at his bed but he was still standing outside the door.

"So much for privacy," he joked looking into Hutch's eyes trying to figure out what was going on with him.

 _Wherever we're standing_

 _I won't take you for granted_

"Talk, Blintz."

Hutch looked down and traced the tile floor with his toe, his hands on his hips. "I don't know. It was close. Too close." He looked back up to meet Starsky's gaze.

 _'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time_

"I know but we made it. We're still here." Starsky headed back to his bed knowing Hutch would follow. He sat down in the recliner.

Hutch sat down next to him in the folding chair. He smiled inside at the use of 'we.' Starsky had been the one on the brink of death but to him it was their battle together. And it was, Hutch realized. He would have been next. The shooters had tried to take both of them out but the Torino had protected him. Just him.

"You did it, Hutch. Gunther and the whole web of corruption are gone. Behind bars. Hell, you'll get a commendation for this. You know that, right?"

"That's not important," Hutch said, shaking his head slowly. "Only you being okay is important."

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

"Aw, Hutch. I love you too, Partner. I owe you my life."

 _In the blink of an eye_

 _Just a whisper of smoke_

 _You could lose everything_

 _The truth is you never know_

"How can you say that?" Hutch said, standing up. "You…you almost died."

"But I didn't," Starsky said, a little too loudly. He winced at the pain in his chest but waved Hutch away when he sat back down, worry in his eyes.

"I asked Dobey to review the scene."

"What?"

"You calling my name and getting my attention changed things. Don't you know that?"

Hutch tried to speak but the words caught in his throat.

"They had me in their sights. I'd be a dead man. I know it. But turning that way…"

"You almost died," Hutch repeated.

"But I didn't!" Starsky paused as he watched Hutch. "Because of you."

Hutch took in a breath. He nodded slowly. "Maybe."

Starsky smiled. "I'll take that."

Hutch smiled back.

 _Any chance that I get_

 _I'll make the most of the minutes_

 _And love with no regrets_

"Ya hafta let it go," Starsky whispered. "It's over. No regrets, okay?"

Hutch nodded. "I'm trying. I almost lost our friendship. Kyra…"

"Her? I've already forgotten her," Starsky said then laughed.

"What?" Hutch said, surprised at the response.

 _Let's take our time to say what we want_

 _Here's what we got before it's all gone_

 _'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow_

"It's like a marriage, our partnership. And every marriage goes through rough patches."

"Are you saying we went through the seven year itch?" Hutch let himself smile.

Starsky laughed again. "Yes, that's exactly it." He put a hand on his chest as he laughed. After a moment, he sobered. "But we came out the other side stronger." He looked over at his best friend. "Right?"

Hutch smiled sincerely now. "Absolutely. Starsky, I'll never treat you like that again. I promise."

"I promise too. And hey, we are only human so let's just be honest with each other. No matter what. Deal?" Starsky put out his hand.

 _So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you_

 _I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye_

 _Wherever we're standing_

 _I won't take you for granted_

 _'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time_

"Deal," Hutch said, grabbing Starsky's hand.

Starsky put his other hand over Hutch's and grinned. After a moment, they let go and relaxed. Starsky rubbed his stomach. "I'm hungry. You know what I could go for?"

"What?"

"Stuffed veal. Oo, and antipasto!"

"Sick of hospital food, huh?"

"Man, I sure am."

Hutch got up. "I'll be back. I'm going to make some calls." He opened the hospital room door and looked back with a wink.

"Like I'm Gonna Lose You" Songwriters: Caitlyn Elizabeth Smith, Justin Michael Weaver, Meghan Trainor ·


End file.
